I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
