So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
