No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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