I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize