grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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