Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
