People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize