Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
