Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm at about main and main street
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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