Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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