Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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