And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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