put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
