you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
