but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
