Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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