Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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