Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
