Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
