all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
