Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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