If that was your dad, he is hot
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
