This dress was meant to end up on your floor
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
dude i'm inner monologue high
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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