The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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