Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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