I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
