Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
