his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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