Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
