Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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