Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
