I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
