the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
