I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
