i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
