I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
