guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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