Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
