Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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