just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
