alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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