You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
