you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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