just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
