I just threw up on my dentist
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
