i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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