After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
