You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
