remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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