Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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