hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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