Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wish you could order shots online.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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