sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
