My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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