He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize