I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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