the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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