put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
