I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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