My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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