3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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