is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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