haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
