My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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