You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
