Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
